Edition 1
Written on
08-08-2024
08-08-2024
MY NAME IS MISAKO.
I MOVED ABROAD.
THIS IS HOW I DID IT.
You want to start your life over in a new country (whether you've been there before or not!) and want to learn from someone who has gone through this process before.
THIS GUIDE IS NOT FOR YOU IF…
You're looking for a guide on how to get a remote job or make money abroad.
You're seeking detailed information on obtaining a visa in every country. I share my recommendations for starting your visa process and offer referrals to my lawyer in CDMX, and the company I used to get my visa in Tokyo. However, I want to make it clear that these subjects are not the primary focus of this guide.
AND ONE LAST DISCLAIMER…
No part of this project is sponsored. I am not being paid to mention any of the resources or companies in this book. I am simply recommending tools that have genuinely helped me or that I wish I had used when going through this process.
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
Nearly four years ago, on September 7th, 2020, I hopped on a one-way flight to Playa del Carmen. I told my friends and family that I was only going away for a few months, but deep down in my soul, I knew I was ready to start building my life in another country. I didn’t have a plan or any idea what I was looking for at the time, but I knew I wanted better for myself, and I was confident that feeling alone (and thankfully, being granted 180-days on my tourist visa) was enough to help me find it.
I started documenting my journey on YouTube (which is probably how you found your way to this guide) during a time when I think many of you were also looking for other countries to build a safe new home in. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my channel was turning into a resource for people interested in moving to Mexico (and more specifically, Mexico City), and I’m so grateful that I could become that for my community. Now, I’m using my channel to provide a window into the African-American female expatriate experience in Tokyo, Japan, and I can’t wait to continue sharing with you everything I learn through my experience building this next chapter of my life in Japan.
After four years of sharing videos about my transition abroad, I’ve decided to finally put everything I’ve learned together in one place for you to keep and refer back to. This is the first of what I think will be a few editions of this guide, as my knowledge about moving abroad expands. But this first edition encompasses everything I have learned up until this point—from the preparation of your move to finding community on the ground in your new city. This guide is going to set you up for success abroad and help you avoid the mistakes I made on my journey.
Let’s get into it.
DETOX
It’s time to make space in your physical world, which will make space in your mental world for new ideas to flow into your mind. I want you to de-clutter your world so you can de-clutter your brain! Not only this, but sometimes when we want to move to a new place, the idea of what we’re going to do with all of our belongings can overwhelm us to the point where we can’t get past this thought. I don’t want you to get stuck on this step. So we’re NOT going to get stuck on this step!
Before I even knew where I wanted to move abroad, the first thing I did was a closet clean-out. I documented and shared it on YouTube (see: ‘Letting Go Of What I Don't Need | Closet Clean Out’ on my channel). I was ready for a change and to clear the space for some new energy in my life. I bagged up most of my closet and took it to a shelter in Downtown LA, and I gave the rest to my friends and family.
I recommend you start your transition into your new life with this step of letting go of the excess things in your material world. You don’t have to limit this detox to clothes; it can be anything you want to let go of to clear out the space.
I recommend donating this stuff as a simple way to give back to the community, or you could sell it or have a sidewalk sale. Whatever method works best for you, just make sure you actually get the stuff out of your space.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
If you don’t know where you want to go yet, now is when I would suggest you start to think about it! After my closet clean-out and watching my friend LukeLifeCharms’ YouTube videos, I decided I was going to move to Bali. I rented a room in a villa for a month on Airbnb and waited for the borders to open to book my flight. As I got closer to the check-in date and realized the borders were probably not opening anytime soon, I knew I was going to have to change directions. So that’s exactly what I did!
Here are some of the questions I asked myself to eventually lead me to Playa del Carmen:
> What lifestyle am I looking to have in this new place?
> How long am I looking to live in this place? (It’s okay if you don’t know the answer to this! I never knew how long I planned to live in Mexico; I just took things three months at a time. I would encourage you to look at this with that perspective as well.)
> Are people who live here and/or move here happy?
> How long can I stay in this place with my type of passport?
> Will I need a visa? What type of visa will I need? What does this process look like?
> If I do want to stay in that country long-term, is there a viable pathway for me to live there long-term?
> Will I need to learn a new language? Do I have the capacity to dedicate time to learning a new language?
> Am I looking for a slower-paced life, or more fast-paced?
> Is this a safe place for solo-travelers? Is this a safe place for solo women?
> Is nature easily accessible?
> Is fresh water easily accessible? Can you use the tap water to brush your teeth or wash your vegetables?
> Is fresh produce easily accessible? Will there be a good amount of markets and grocery stores in the area?
> What does the fitness scene look like? Are there gyms and fitness studios in this city?
> How do people get around? Will I need a car? Is this a walkable city? Do I want to live in a city with a strong public transportation network? How’s the traffic?
> Does this city have the types of communities I hope to be a part of? Spiritual communities? Black communities? Queer communities? Dance communities?
> What does the weather look like there? What type of weather do I want to live in year-round?
Some of these questions are serious things to consider, while others are based on my needs and the lifestyle I was/am seeking. Your list of questions might look different depending on your needs. Feel free to just use my list as a way to get the ball rolling.
If you’ve never been to the city you’re interested in moving to, this is where YouTube and Reddit come into the picture. You can find answers to a lot of your questions by watching videos of other expats in these cities (which is, again, how a lot of you found me!). I recommend watching videos from multiple people so that you can gather a variety of opinions, especially videos created by people from within the communities you identify with. That way, you can gain insight into what life could possibly look like from your perspective. My experience in Japan as a single, Black woman who is not fluent in Japanese (yet!!) will probably be different from that of a white man who has grown up coming to Japan all his life and already speaks Japanese. That’s not a bad thing, and no two experiences are the same! Just because someone else’s experience looks a certain way does not mean that yours will. Take what serves you, leave the rest, and remember that this step is just to give you an idea, not to define what your life will look like in this place.
As for Reddit, it can be super helpful in finding resources and honest reviews about even the most obscure subjects, BUT I find that there is much more cynicism on that platform than on YouTube. People can be a bit more discouraging, or as they put it, realistic. So, if you do decide to seek out answers on Reddit, my advice would be to take everything you’re learning on that platform with a grain of salt as well. Look at Subreddits that are labeled r/movingto[insert country or city]. For example, I found a lot of helpful information in r/movingtojapan. But you can also find the answers to your questions in more general expat threads like r/expats. Some of the information is very valuable and things that you should absolutely be aware of, but use your own discernment when it comes to deciding if the information is meant to serve you or just scare you. I used Reddit when I wanted to find Black haircare stores in Mexico City, to figure out when I would hear back from my language school, to find honest reviews on the company I used for my temporary housing in Tokyo, the steps for getting an artist visa in Tokyo, etc. It was all super helpful and information I didn’t find anywhere else. I just chose to ignore the negative Redditors!
I had never been to Playa del Carmen or Mexico City before I moved there. For me, I was okay with that risk and knowing that if I didn’t like a new city, I could always come back because it didn’t feel like that far of a leap from Los Angeles. Before moving to Japan, I had visited only once before for two weeks. As time passed, I knew that I wanted to live in Japan long-term; I just wasn’t sure how I was going to make it happen. I say all of this to emphasize that you might need a bit more evidence or time in a city to determine if it’s somewhere you want to build your life. Maybe you also need to visit for two weeks before you take the leap. Or maybe watching videos and reading through threads will be enough for you! You have to decide for yourself what type of evidence you need to make this decision. If you want to explore life in your new city, my dear friend Damon Dominique recently launched a newsletter for people who want to swap apartments and/or sublet their places abroad. He did not ask me to plug this! I just honestly think that he gets some awesome submissions that I have not seen anywhere else. So if you’re looking for a low-cost option for you to test out living in a city, sign up for his newsletter so you can see the monthly listings. It’s free: damondominique.com/newsletter.
THE MONEY PART
As I mentioned above, this guide does not contain information on how to get a remote job or make money abroad. The reason is simple: I don’t feel qualified enough to teach you how to do that. Every job I’ve ever had has been a remote job because I always prioritized the freedom that comes with contract/freelance work, versus being an actual employee. I’ve worked as a social media manager/producer/strategist/content creator for the last decade, and I don’t know how to speak to finding any other type of remote job. Every interview opportunity I’ve ever had or client I’ve ever landed has come through a referral because I did great work at a previous job. I make the majority of my income now from project-based social media gigs, and the occasional brand deal.
I get a lot of questions about how I make money abroad, and that’s the honest answer. I’m not hiding a big secret; that’s honestly how I’ve earned and paid for everything on this journey. I do not come from money and do not have any financial support. But I don’t make content about how to become a “digital nomad” because I’m not an expert at this. I’ve just been working in my industry for a long time, so everyone in my network knows by now what I do and that I will only take remote opportunities. I am not going to pretend like I can teach you to find any type of remote job because that would be a lie.
The only advice I can give you about finding a good job is to do great work wherever you work because you never know how that can lead to opportunities in the future.
This “money” section is about getting clear on what your new life is going to cost you so that you are prepared financially. How you make (or save) this money (if you don’t already have it) is up to you to decide!
THE COST OF LIVING IN YOUR NEW CITY
Once you have figured out where you want to go, the next step is figuring out what the average cost of living is in this area for someone who wants to maintain your type of lifestyle.
The most commonly asked question I get is, “How much money do I need to move abroad?” but this is all contingent upon where you want to go, if you’re planning to move there with or without a job, AND the type of lifestyle you want to have in that place. You can move to a new place with almost any budget and make something work. People start over in new places with little to no money every day and figure it out; it truly depends on what experience you are trying to have.
With all of that being said, the simplest way to get an idea of the amount of money you will need to live comfortably is to utilize AI. This is an example of a prompt I typed into ChatGPT and the response it gave me:
Prompt: What is the average cost of living for a person in Mexico City who wants to live in a 2-bedroom apartment in Roma Norte, dine out at least three times a week, use Uber for transportation, grocery shop weekly, and maintain a comfortable lifestyle?
Answer:
Housing
2-Bedroom Apartment Rent: In Roma Norte, a 2-bedroom apartment typically costs between MXN 25,000 and MXN 35,000 per month.
Utilities
Electricity, Water, Gas, Internet: Combined, these utilities usually cost around MXN 2,000 to MXN 3,000 per month.
Food
Groceries: Weekly grocery shopping can amount to MXN 1,500 to MXN 2,000, totaling MXN 6,000 to MXN 8,000 per month.Dining Out: Dining out at least three times a week at mid-range restaurants can cost around MXN 500 to MXN 1,000 per meal, totaling approximately MXN 6,000 to MXN 12,000 per month.
Transportation
Uber: Regular use of Uber for transportation can cost between MXN 2,000 and MXN 4,000 per month, depending on the frequency and distance of trips.
Leisure and Entertainment
Activities such as movies, gyms, and other leisure activities can cost around MXN 2,000 to MXN 4,000 per month.
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous Expenses
Other personal expenses might average around MXN 2,000 to MXN 4,000 per month.
Conversion (as of August 2024): 1 USD ≈ 18 MXN
Total Estimated Monthly Cost:
Lower Range: MXN 43,000 (approximately USD 2,400)
Upper Range: MXN 62,000 (approximately USD 3,450)
I chose to use Mexico City as an example because I used to live there, and I lived in Roma Norte, so I can verify this information is accurate. Obviously, you will have to also add your existing expenses to this (as well as new expenses, which we will get into in the next section), but this is a very quick way to get an idea of what you will need in the place you are planning to move to.
If you are planning to move while you are still searching for a remote job, this will give you an idea of how much you need to save. I recommend saving up for about six months worth of living expenses. If you’re planning to move with a remote job, this will tell you about how much you will need to make or if you need to take on an additional client or freelance work on the side.
When I moved to Mexico, I wanted to live in a place where my money would go further. Now, with the cost of schooling and housing in Tokyo, I am making the choice to live in a place where I have to be more focused on work in order to sustain my life there. But I am in a career-focused chapter of my life, so this shift is in alignment with my current lifestyle.
When you pick a place, take into consideration how your lifestyle will change in order to maintain your life there. I know everyone is different, but I think it’s safe to assume that if you’re reading this, it’s not because you want to move somewhere else and have a more stressful existence. Pick a place where you will be able to live a balanced life, if you can. This transition is supposed to be a source of joy and excitement for you, not stress!
I also cannot stress these next two things enough:
1. Get a credit card or debit card that doesn’t have foreign transaction fees, and when you go to the ATM to take cash out in your foreign country, ALWAYS hit DECLINE CONVERSION. If you didn’t already know this (because I didn’t), this will save you a ton of money. I moved with the Chase Sapphire Preferred Credit Card and I just recently opened a checking account at Charles Schwab because this bank does not have any ATM fees and will give you refunds on any of the ATM fees that you incur abroad. I don’t know why it took me THIS long, but now you don’t have to wait as long as I did.
2. Have an emergency fund!!! Accidents DO happen. Sometimes you need to move unexpectedly, take an emergency flight home, have a medical emergency, etc. You just never know. Having at least $1,000 set aside for these types of emergencies and/or a credit card with at least this amount available will come in handy. I promise!
PREPARING FOR YOUR BIG MOVE
If you need to store your car, I highly suggest storing it at a close family member or friend’s house if you can, before looking into a car storage unit. I let friends and family members borrow my car, stored it at my grandma’s house, and eventually gave it to my mom after I paid it off.
Because I wasn’t sure how long I wanted to stay in Mexico, I didn’t want to sell it, and I can understand if you aren’t ready to sell your car either.
The reason I think you should look into other options is that storing your car can get very pricey. Even if you offer to pay a friend or family member to look after it, I guarantee the cost will still be cheaper than paying for a space at a car storage facility. The cost will depend on where you’re located, what type of storage facilities you’ll need (indoor vs. outdoor), and how long you plan on storing your car. If you have the ability to do this and feel more comfortable with this option, then it is a great option. When I moved, I wanted to have as much money as possible to put towards my new life, and the additional cost to store my car was not in my budget. Your budget might be different, and this might not be an issue for you!
Once you figure out where and how you are going to store your car, call your car insurance company and ask them about switching to comprehensive insurance. Comprehensive insurance covers non-driving-related damages, such as theft, vandalism, fire, natural disasters, and other incidents that can occur while your car is parked. Another option to consider is storage insurance. You are still going to have to pay for car insurance even when you’re away, but these two options can help you save some money.
Make sure you stay on top of your registration. In California, you can renew your registration online if you have your license plate and VIN number. Depending on where your car is registered, your process might be different. I would make sure to have the notice mailed to someone you trust and determine how you can do this while traveling **before** you leave. I will tell you from personal experience, dealing with the DMV while you’re abroad is not fun. I wish that I had prepared for this more before my move. I’m glad I learned from this experience so that you can be more prepared than I was.
For your mail, everything you need to learn about changing your address and/or forwarding your mail can be found here: www.usps.com/manage/forward.htm.
For health insurance, do as I say NOT as I did:
Moving to Japan is the first time I’m going to have health insurance since before the pandemic. I have been 1099 my entire career, and I had other financial responsibilities with my family that took precedence. It wasn’t the most responsible choice, I know, but that’s what I had to do, and I’m very lucky that nothing serious happened in those years. I had insurance with Oscar (an insure-tech company) for a few years before the pandemic, and I paid out of pocket for everything since moving to Mexico and now Japan. I’m now required to get health insurance in Japan as an international student, and I’m looking forward to having access to regular healthcare. But that’s why I said, ‘do as I say NOT as I do.’
You should get international health insurance before you move abroad. Here’s a list of ten of the top international health insurance providers known for their coverage and global reach:
> Bupa Global
> Cigna Global
> Allianz Care
> AXA PPP International
> Aetna International
> GeoBlue
> IMG (International Medical Group)
> Now Health International
> William Russell
> MSH International
Please do your research and pick a plan that will meet your needs and make you feel comfortable.
For all your possessions, you really only have three options: Let it all go, hold onto it, or rent it out.
I went with the "let it all go" option. I posted a majority of my stuff in the Nextdoor app for free and sold a few things on LetGo, which I believe is now called OfferUp, for next to nothing. When you post stuff for free on Nextdoor, people are ready to pick stuff up within minutes because they don’t want to lose out on the deal! This made getting rid of stuff super quick, and I didn’t have to worry about transporting it. Whenever people came to pick stuff up, I let them know they could take whatever else they wanted. As I mentioned in the DETOX section, I donated most of my clothing and gave the rest away to friends and family, but I still had to get rid of everything else in my apartment. Granted, I have always lived like a minimalist, so there wasn’t a ton to get rid of other than my bed, dresser, dining room table, couch, and kitchenware, but it was still part of this process!
When I moved out of Mexico City, I gave most of my clothes and small times to my community. I sold the only piece of furniture that I owned (a desk) in my friend’s WhatsApp group called WeQueer (and I’ll get more into the power of WhatsApp groups in the BUILDING COMMUNITY section).
There will always be people who are in need of the things you have, and they might even appreciate these things more. Don’t be afraid of letting things go and making space for what’s new!
If you decide to store your things, I still recommend downsizing so you can save money by renting the smallest unit possible. Don’t go with the first storage unit you find in your area. Here are a few things to consider when choosing a unit: cost, size, climate control, security features, cleanliness, insurance, reviews and rental terms.
If you decide to sublet your place and keep your stuff, you can: share it on Listings Project, list your place on local Facebook pages, submit it to be shared in Damon’s newsletter (mentioned above), utilize your social media by posting that you are looking for a subletter, and tell the people in your life that you are looking for a subletter. I always think it’s safer to go through friends of friends, but when I traveled through Europe for three months, I sublet my room to a wonderful woman from Germany who I had never met, and we didn’t have any issues. If it’s someone you don’t know, I recommend getting a security deposit just in case anything is damaged or stolen and writing out a contract. This is another area where you can utilize AI. Ask ChatGPT to write you a contract for your subletter. Here is a prompt you can use:
Prompt: "I am subletting my home for [insert duration] and need a comprehensive subletting contract. Here are the specific details to include:
Duration: The sublet period will be from [insert start date] to [insert end date].
Security Deposit: There will be a security deposit of [insert amount] which will be returned to the subletter after the lease term, provided the property is in the same condition as when it was sublet.
Rent: The monthly rent is [insert rent amount].
Utilities: The cost of utilities is [insert utility cost].
Payment Method: Rent and utilities should be paid via [insert payment platform].
Payment Due Date: Payments are due on the [insert day] of each month. Please ensure the contract covers all necessary legal terms and conditions, including responsibilities, restrictions, and the process for the return of the security deposit.
For your phone plan, here are some options:
DISCLAIMER: This will all depend on the type of phone you have and if that phone is unlocked.
If your phone is unlocked and you have space to enter a physical SIM card: You can buy a SIM card when you touch down and insert it into your phone. This is probably the most affordable option, but you won’t have access to your original number. So if people are texting you, you will have to insert that SIM card to see the messages.
If your phone is eSIM compatible and unlocked: You can keep your existing phone plan/number and get an eSIM using an app called Airalo. This is a pricier option, but you can have both numbers activated at once. This is the option I use now.
If you just want to keep your existing number: You can call your existing carrier and ask them what their international phone plan options are. This will definitely be the most expensive option unless you are moving from the US to Mexico or Canada. Most US providers have included these countries for free, which is why I kept my US phone plan the entire time I was living in Mexico.
You might have other things you need to consider and prepare for this transition, but I tried to cover the main tasks as best as I could. I encourage you to handle as much as you can before you take off so that these things do not burden you in your new life.
FINDING HOUSING (BEFORE YOU ARRIVE)
It’s time to figure out your housing! I’m going to start by telling you what I did in Mexico City and then offer some other resources and suggestions.
As I noted earlier, before I moved to Mexico City, I had never been to the city before. I had no idea I wanted to live there when I landed before November of 2020, let alone what area I wanted to live in. So, I started by booking a month-long stay at an apartment in Colonia Napoles. Once I realized that I liked the place and wanted to live there long-term, I asked the landlord if we could create a six-month lease agreement off Airbnb, and she was more than happy to do so. The thing with Airbnb is, there are fees on both sides. So it is a better deal for the hosts, too. Plus, they are making a guaranteed income off of their rental property for an extended period. The downside is that because you’re visiting, you likely don’t have the same protections in most places as other renters. All you can do is hope that they uphold the terms of the agreement you’ve made. If you don’t see any red flags about the host in the reviews, or have a negative experience during that first month, they probably won’t switch up on you out of the blue.
By doing this, I was able to have stable housing without committing to a year-long lease while I figured out where I wanted to plant roots in Mexico City. I ended up finding a beautiful, furnished apartment in Roma Norte where I lived for the duration of my time living in Mexico City. And I truly believe all of this was possible because I didn’t rush into finding a place. I was able to take my time exploring the neighborhoods and finding a landlord that I meshed really well with.
I recommend you follow a similar process. Find a furnished place that you can rent for a couple of months using:
> Airbnb
> Listings Project
> Damon’s Newsletter: damondominique.com/newsletter
> Facebook Groups (search: Foreigners & Expats in [insert your city] to find your groups)
You really don’t need to jump into a lease as soon as you get there because you might not know if you want to stay yet! Take a few months to figure out if you want to stay and what areas you like the most.
Then, down the line, once you have determined if you want to stay in this place long-term, I would suggest exploring a more permanent solution. I found my long-term apartment in Mexico City using InMuebles24, and I am working with brokers at E-Housing to find my long-term apartment in Tokyo. Finding a rental property as a foreigner who doesn’t speak fluent Japanese yet is already a daunting process, so I wanted to work with professionals who have experience with this and could make the process easier. I found my temporary rental in Tokyo on Sumyca.
If you’re searching for an apartment in a place where it’s typically harder to get housing as a foreigner, work with a person or company that has a positive track record in helping expats secure housing OR prioritize renting from landlords who have rented to foreigners in the past! It will make your life 10x easier.
For example, in Mexico City, my landlords had rented to foreigners in the past, so we went through a legal company for the aval. In Mexico, an "aval" is a person or entity that acts as a guarantor or co-signer on a rental agreement. The aval agrees to take responsibility for the debt or obligations of the borrower or tenant if they default. Now, the issue with this is that the aval is typically someone who has to own property in Mexico, and I obviously didn’t know anyone as I had just moved there a few months prior. But because they had rented to foreigners in the past, they already had a solution for this. I wouldn’t have even known this was an option, and a lot of my friends didn’t either. This is just one example of how renting from someone who has experience with expats can be a little easier. Another example is, when I land in Tokyo, my broker at E-Housing is going to take me to get a phone plan because I will need one to get an apartment. Could I do this on my own? Probably! But between school and moving across the world, it’s nice to have someone who can take me through this process and make sure I don’t miss any of these steps (because I definitely didn’t know this was a requirement before).
I know you can handle everything, but don’t be afraid to seek support throughout this process if you need it. Moving abroad has taught me that it’s okay to ask for help. Sooner or later, you’re going to need it, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Sincerely,
The Eldest Daughter
BOOKING YOUR FLIGHT
Old me would have told you to just book a one-way ticket and worry about the departure flight later, but I am writing to you from Paris, and I was reminded that depending on where you fly (and honestly, the mood of the passport agent you meet upon arrival), sometimes you will need to show proof of your departure flight. For that reason alone, I’m going to advise that you always have a return flight or a flight to another country booked.
You don’t have to go home, but you have to show that you’re getting the heck out of there!! (Does anyone get this reference??)
Here are some more tips I have for booking this flight:
> Use Google Flights and Skyscanner to find the most affordable and fastest flight options.
> If you’re flying somewhere for the first time, prioritize arriving during the day so you don’t have to navigate getting to your rental in the middle of the night.
> If you are arriving before check-in time, ask the hotel or host in advance about early check-in or if you can store your bags. Do this before you arrive!
> Research how you’re going to get to your accommodations from the airport BEFORE you land.
> And last but not least, get excited!! Your new life is just around the corner!
WHAT SHOULD I PACK?
I’m a California girl through and through, so I’m going to include this next tip for anyone else coming from a place that doesn’t have seasons. If you’re planning to be somewhere that has multiple seasons, make sure to consider that when you pack.
I moved with one checked bag and one carry-on because: 1) I think that is more than enough space, and 2) I didn’t want to deal with the stress of lugging around more than that as a solo traveler. Obviously, if you have to travel with medical equipment, or any equipment for that matter, your packing situation is going to look a bit different. But if there were ever a time to try your best to resist the urge to overpack, it would be now! You want to be light and nimble during this transition, especially if you’re planning to explore different areas of your new country and/or city. Only pack what is absolutely necessary!
If you need specific medication, supplements, or products that you’re unsure if you’ll be able to find in your new home, stock up and pack them with you. When it comes to packing certain medications, check that the medication you need to pack is legal in the country you’re flying to. For example, all medications containing stimulants are prohibited in Japan, including Adderall. And let me tell you, they do not play about their laws in that country. I don’t know about you, but I don’t need to know what the inside of Japan’s prison system looks like. I’m good! Again, please do your research when it comes to these things.
For less serious items, like skincare, snacks, hair products, etc., make sure to stock up on what you need! I always have at least 7-10 packs of my braiding hair with me at all times. Certain things might be available in your new city and/or ship there, so this might not be something you have to consider, but just keep this in mind.
To help you with this process, I suggest sitting down and writing out a list of things to pack and things to stock up on so that you have a clear view of what is going into your bag and can avoid overpacking.
Oh yeah, and you don’t need as many shoes as you think. You’re going to wear that same pair over and over again. Ditch the extra weight.
IT’S NOT GOODBYE, IT’S SEE YOU LATER
Now that you’re packed and ready to take off soon, I want to take a pause from all the logistical stuff and speak to your heart. First off, I’m really proud of you for making it this far, for choosing yourself, and for doing whatever you needed to do to get to this point. I know it’s been a lot of planning and problem-solving up until now, so I want to carve out a little part of this guide to congratulate you and let you know that I’m proud of you. So deeply proud of you. :)
If this is your first time moving away from home or abroad, I can understand if you’re feeling a little sad in this moment about having to say goodbye to your community. But remember, it’s not goodbye, it’s see you later! This is a moment for celebration as you start this new chapter of your life. And the people in your life who love you and want to see you happy and thriving will also want to celebrate you! Thanks to technology, these same people are just a phone call, FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, or Google Meet call away.
If you’re worried about losing touch with your friends, set up a recurring call with them and put it on the calendar. I do this with my friend Ayanda, who I was lucky enough to meet in Mexico City. We have a recurring call on our Google calendars every other Thursday, where we kiki and catch each other up on the state of our lives, and I love that we have this time reserved twice a month. For everyone else, I just pick up the phone and FaceTime them when I know they’re awake. And they do the same for me! That’s what our phones are for!!
I’m not sure how often you will plan on going home, but making the time to connect with your family and friends digitally can help fill the space when you’re missing them.
CULTURAL ADAPTATION & RESPECTFUL INTEGRATION
Now that you’ve arrived in your new country, I want to talk about cultural adaptation and respectful integration. Over the years, I’ve seen many people struggle with this part because they move abroad and hold their new country to the same standards as their old one. I think that’s very unfair and a guaranteed way to have an unhappy experience. After all, comparison truly is the thief of all joy.
Moving to a new country means immersing yourself in a new culture, and that can be both exciting and challenging at times. Therefore, taking the time to learn about the local customs and social norms is a necessary part of this transition.
For example, I learned that the people who assist with bagging your groceries in Mexico make 100% of their living via tips. So it’s important to tip them every time you go to the grocery store. I’m so happy that I learned this because I want to make sure I am being respectful of people’s work and contributing to the community. Another example: In Tokyo, people stand on the left side of the escalator, and in Osaka, people stand on the right side. These are small things, but it’s important that we know these things so that we can show respect in our new homes.
You can easily learn about these things by watching videos titled ‘Things You Should Know About [insert city/country]’ on YouTube, created by both locals and expats. It’s important to gain both perspectives because there are certain aspects that locals might not mention since they’ve grown accustomed to them their entire lives, and things that expats might not mention because they haven’t encountered them yet.
It’s important to make sure we are living in harmony with the communities we are moving into, rather than just “on top” of them. This is why I believe making an effort to learn the language of the countries we move to is such an imperative part of this process because, by doing so, you’re showing your community that you want to make an effort to communicate with them rather than trying to get them to change how they exist in order to communicate with you.
Don’t be afraid to engage with local communities and activities to deepen your knowledge of the culture. I have found in my travels that, for the most part, people are very excited to teach you about their heritage if you are open to receiving them with love and learning.
I find that this whole experience of adapting and integrating boils down to love and respect. Receiving people with love and learning to respect a culture will make this entire transition a heart-expanding experience.
HOUSING (AFTER YOU’VE ARRIVED)
WHAT AREA OF THE NEW COUNTRY SHOULD I LIVE IN?
Once you've settled in and gotten a feel for whether you want to stay or not, you should start to think about which neighborhood you want to live in long-term. Similar to the first section, where I provided a list of questions to help you decide where to move, I'll now give you a list of questions to help you choose a specific neighborhood:
> If this is a public transportation city, is it important for me to be near a metro or bus station?
> Do I want to be in a walkable part of the city?
> What is important for me to have easy access to? Parks? Public pools? Cafes? Restaurants? Co-working spaces? Grocery stores? Movie theaters? Art spaces?
> Do I want to be in a bustling area or a quieter, more residential one?
> How close do I want to be to a grocery store?
> What is the crime like in this area?
> Do I want to live in an area with expats, locals, or a mix of both? How do locals feel about expats moving into this specific area?
If you're lucky, you might just fall in love with the first neighborhood you land in, and that's a beautiful thing! Similar to how some people view dating these days, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking there's always a better neighborhood or city out there. That's not to say you should settle for a place that doesn't meet your needs, but it's important to know what you really want or need and what you can grow to get used to.
The happiest people I've met on this journey—and the reason I believe I can be happy in most places—is because I try to keep gratitude at the center and find the best in most situations. If you go looking for reasons not to like an area, I'm sure you can find them. But what do you love about it? What are your non-negotiable? And what can you grow to love?
FURNISHED OR UNFURNISHED
If a viable furnished option is available, I would recommend going furnished for at least the first year, especially if it makes financial sense. More stuff ties you down and immobilizes you, so if you can find a place that already has everything you need, I strongly recommend going in that direction. The thing is, this is all still very new. You might enjoy living in one area for a few months, then decide you want to explore another area—or even another city or country! Don’t create an invisible jail for yourself by accumulating more possessions. I understand the desire to feel settled and make a place your own, but giving in to consumerism is not the only way to do that. A minimalist lifestyle has brought me more freedom than a trendy couch ever did—I promise you that!
VISAS
This is probably the most serious part of this section. If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that the world does not play around when it comes to visas, and neither should we. When dealing with visas, I recommend doing things by the book and using legal support. Yes, technically, you can go through the process on your own, but I always suggest working with a lawyer or a company that can guide you through it. The people in those offices HAVE TIME—time to ruin your entire day over a tiny mistake. I've seen it happen. People go through the whole process, book flights and accommodations for their appointments, and then get to the final step only to be told their visa was declined because they accidentally put their last name on the wrong line. It might not seem that serious, but to them, it really is. And as I mentioned, it’s often a major time and financial investment. In my opinion, you'll save more money by investing in support that can help you navigate this process.
I recommend visiting a country on a tourist visa first to determine if you actually want to live there long-term before going through the visa process. Once you're certain that this is where you want to be, I suggest enlisting legal support to guide you through obtaining the best visa option for you. Additionally, I recommend working with a vetted lawyer. Having that extra layer of security, knowing they are easy to work with and have successfully helped others through the process, will bring you peace of mind. A good place to find vetted lawyers would be in Facebook or WhatsApp groups (which I will FINALLY touch on in the next section).
Every visa comes with different time and work restrictions, and these rules are always changing! For example, when I lived in Mexico City, I got a 3-year temporary residence visa, which required me to prove I had a consistent income from outside of Mexico for a minimum of 6 consecutive months. I also could not work on this visa and would have needed an additional work visa for employment permissions. At the time, it was relatively simple to obtain this visa, but now you must have a letter from your employer proving you are approved to work abroad, and the minimum income requirement has increased.
If you're moving to Mexico and need a visa, here's the email address for my lawyer: jaimegarciaarenas@gmail.com. If you're looking to get a student visa through a language school in Japan, I recommend using one of the free services that double-check all of your paperwork and handle the process for you. I used Go! Go! Nihon and can't recommend them enough.
BUILDING COMMUNITY
Tip #1: Don’t Be Afraid to Make It Known That You Are Trying to Make Friends
The most important tip I can give you about building community in your new home is to not be afraid to let people know you are trying to build connections. There are people who want to make new friends in every part of the world—your new city is no exception. It’s never too late to make friends.
Side note: Please stop subscribing to the limiting belief that it's harder to make friends as you get older. It might take more effort now compared to when we were in school, where we didn’t have to put much effort into being in spaces with our peers, sure. But back then, we had fewer options for the people we wanted to build community with. Now, we have a choice. What a privilege!
I believe that many people struggle to make friends because they don’t want to appear desperate or like they’re trying too hard, but what’s so desperate about wanting to build a loving community? I made more friends than I ever have in my adult life when I moved to Mexico City because I was upfront about my desire to build friendships. I would tell people I enjoyed spending time with them, express my interest in making new friends, and ask if I could have their number (or Instagram handle). This approach was especially helpful when making connections with others who were also in transition and looking to build community. That’s not to say that all of these connections resulted in deep friendships, but that’s okay! As long as you keep putting effort into this process, you will make friends.
Don’t hesitate to strike up a conversation with the person next to you at the coffee shop or with others who signed up for the same Airbnb experience. Attend run club meetups or social events like the Freeknu RNB party (the BEST RNB party started by my dear friend Jillian) in Mexico City). Most importantly, don’t be afraid to do activities on your own AND make it known that you’re doing so to meet people. Building a community takes effort and clear communication about what you want. And I promise you, if you keep doing these things, you will eventually meet someone who wants to make a new friend, too.
Tip #2: Learn the Language (If There Is a New Language for You to Learn)
This one is obvious but worth stating: if you want to make friends in your new home, you need to put effort into learning the local language. While you can certainly make friends with people who speak your language or have learned it, your options may be limited depending on where you are. Learning the language will significantly increase your chances of connecting with a broader range of people.
I recommend using iTalki, where you can take language lessons with native speakers from around the world. The platform offers a wide range of prices, so you’re likely to find someone within your budget. Also, pay attention to bulletin boards posted in community spaces like grocery stores or coffee shops. Often, local language tutors will advertise their services there. This is how I found my Japanese tutor in Mexico City—shout out to Yoshi!
Tip #3: Join the WhatsApp Groups!
The answer to many of your new expat challenges can be found in WhatsApp groups. Everything from housing, visas, local events, fitness groups, honest business recommendations, meetups, classes, news, job opportunities, and more can be discovered in these groups. Some even have subgroups, so if you’re specifically looking for housing or social events, you can join those.
What’s great about WhatsApp groups is that you can start your own! My friend Lorenzo, featured in my THRIVING docu-series pilot on YouTube, started a very successful dance WhatsApp group that has grown to hundreds of dancers in Mexico City. Now, he teaches classes to this community. His partner Pan created another group called WeQueer, which has blossomed into a massive community of queer people and allies in Mexico City. If you can’t find the WhatsApp group you’re looking for, don’t be afraid to start your own.
Ladies (sorry to the gents reading this!), I recommend the Hermanas WhatsApp group to every woman I know. The groups used to be free to join, but they’ve expanded to over 80 countries, so there is now a fee to help manage the many groups. If you can manage it, it’s worth every penny. Here is the link to find the group in your city: www.hermanas.earth/whatsapp-community-list.
The best way to find these groups is by asking other expats you meet if they’re part of any WhatsApp groups that have been helpful to them, and then asking them to add you. You can also ask around in local Facebook groups about these WhatsApp groups. It’s one of those things you have to ask around to find, but I promise you these groups will be one of your greatest tools for finding out what’s going on in your new city, getting answers to random questions, and building community.
Tip #4: Use Social Media to Be Social IRL
Many of my favorite friendships to this day started with a direct message. While it’s important to use discretion and do what makes you comfortable, social media can be a valuable tool for building a community in real life. Don’t hesitate to slide into people’s DMs and ask them to grab a coffee or tea if you’re comfortable with it.
Tip #5: Take Your Time
Building an intentional community in your new home will take time, and that’s okay. You don’t need to rush to be friends with everyone you meet. If you’ve moved to create a more peaceful life and aligned existence, don’t disrupt that by forcing friendships with people who aren’t a good fit. Protect your peace and, again, use discretion.
YOU DID IT!!!
Starting over, navigating new social norms, learning a new language, making new friends, and dealing with all the challenges of moving abroad are not easy tasks. At times, it can feel overwhelming and uncomfortable. In these moments, remember to breathe and remind yourself that you deserve to be exactly where you are.
No one expects you to be perfect, so release yourself from that pressure. Do your best to learn and respect the customs of the culture you’re integrating into, and know that things will get easier. What feels new and unfamiliar now will soon become familiar. If you reach a point where you feel truly unhappy with where you are and want to leave, remember you can always book a flight back. You have that choice! At least you’ll know you tried, and you can explore other places. You don’t get just one shot at the dream of living abroad.
I lived in Mexico City for 3.5 beautiful years—some of the most fun and expansive years of my life. That move prepared me for my move to Tokyo, which I hope will be some of the most healing years of my life. Certain places are great for different seasons of your life. Where you’re moving doesn’t have to be your forever place. Release yourself from that pressure, too.
If the place you’re moving to aligns with your dreams and goals in this moment, then it is exactly where you belong!
I’m so deeply proud of you for taking this leap of faith and for trusting me to help guide you through this process. If I can do this—coming from Central Los Angeles and only leaving the country for the first time less than ten years ago—then you can do this, too. I hope this guide makes your journey to wherever you’re going a bit easier, and that you find peace, joy, freedom, and whatever else you’re seeking in your new home.
Sending you much love! Feel free to shoot me an email with your thoughts about this guide when you get through it, if you feel called to: hello@misakoenvela.com.
Lastly, I chose to give this guide away for free because I wanted to make the information as accessible as possible. If you've reached the end and feel inclined to support my work monetarily, I’ll include my PayPal and Venmo information below. Thank you! x
Paypal: misakoenvela@gmail.com
Venmo: @misakoenvela
Enjoy your new life, and please know, I am rooting for you!
With love,
Misako Envela